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The Art of Not Burning Out: What 20 Years in Tech and Life in the Therapy Room Have Taught Me
- Mark Stevens
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
Burnout doesn’t arrive all at once. It’s not usually a dramatic collapse or a single breaking point. More often, it’s an erosion...slow, subtle, and easy to rationalize while it’s happening.
I know this because I lived it.
Before becoming a psychotherapist, I spent over twenty years as a tech executive working in fast-paced, high-stakes environments. International growth, crisis management, constant decision-making, and an unspoken expectation to be available at all times were part of the job. At first, the pressure felt energizing. Then it became normal. Eventually, it became invisible, until it wasn’t.
Now, as a therapist, I see the same pattern play out in different careers, different bodies, and different nervous systems. The roles change, but the burnout mechanics remain strikingly similar.
When Grit Becomes the Standard, Burnout Becomes Inevitable
Most professionals don’t burn out because they’re unmotivated or undisciplined. They burn out because they’re exceptionally capable.
High-performing environments reward:
Endurance
Responsiveness
Problem-solving
Emotional containment
Self-sacrifice
Over time, these traits stop being skills and start becoming identities.
In tech leadership, the message was often implicit: If you can handle more, you should. In therapy, the message can feel similar: If you can hold more, you should.
Both are dangerous assumptions.
What Burnout Looked Like for Me
My burnout didn’t show up as failure at work. From the outside, things looked “successful.” What changed was internal:
I became less present at home
I felt emotionally flatter
Rest stopped feeling restorative
Everything felt heavier than it should
I stopped noticing when I was tired
Burnout often masquerades as professionalism. You still show up. You still perform. You just stop feeling.
Burnout is what happens when competence replaces awareness.
What the Therapy Room Taught Me About Burnout
Working as a psychotherapist deepened my understanding of burnout in ways corporate life never could. In the therapy room, burnout doesn’t hide behind job titles, it shows up in the nervous system.
I see it in:
Leaders who can’t shut off
Therapists who feel emotionally bleached
Professionals who dread work they once loved
People who no longer recognize themselves
What surprises many clients is this: Burnout isn’t about doing too much, it’s about doing too much without meaning, recovery, or boundaries.
The Difference Between Stress and Burnout
Stress can be temporary. Burnout is cumulative.
Stress says: “This is hard.” Burnout says: “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
Burnout impacts:
Identity
Motivation
Relationships
Creativity
Empathy
Physical health
It’s not solved by a vacation alone. It requires reorientation.
The Art of Not Burning Out
Preventing burnout is less about technique and more about attunement.
Here’s what actually makes a difference:
1. Stop Treating Capacity as Infinite
Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Capacity fluctuates; daily, weekly, seasonally.
Therapists and professionals alike burn out when they mistake competence for obligation.
2. Separate Your Worth From Your Output
Many high-achievers unconsciously believe:
“If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.”
“If I say no, I’ll disappoint.”
“If I rest, I’ll lose momentum.”
These beliefs often trace back to early life experiences where performance equaled safety or approval.
This is where origin story work becomes critical.
3. Create Transitions, Not Just Breaks
Burnout thrives in environments without emotional transitions.
Between:
Meetings
Sessions
Crises
Roles
Your nervous system needs cues that one thing has ended and another is beginning.
Simple transitions matter:
Stepping outside
Changing posture
Music
Breathing
Silence
Without transitions, stress accumulates.
4. Let Your Career Be a Chapter, Not Your Identity
One of the most protective factors against burnout is identity diversity. When your entire sense of self is tied to your work, burnout becomes existential.
You are not your role. You are not your productivity. You are not your usefulness.
A Ronin Perspective on Burnout
The Ronin path is not about constant battle, it’s about knowing when to advance and when to retreat.
Burnout happens when retreat feels forbidden.
Resilience isn’t about pushing harder. It’s about knowing when to change direction.
If you’re navigating burnout, whether as a therapist or a professional in a high-pressure role, support can help you reconnect with yourself before exhaustion becomes collapse. You can learn more about working with me here.
Next Post:
Before You Burn Out: What I Wish Every Professional (and Therapist) Knew About Staying Well
